Ooh, No!!!

Email from him arrived in my in box this morning:

So I was looking at all the math courses at UH to see maybe if there was one that had a real teacher and I accidentally canceled my seat in my math class and now that seat is filled and no other seats are open in any other class- so now I am only in 9 credit hours instead of 12. So now I am freaking out cause that is part time and I feel like breaking down because that most definitely means that I will need summer school and that is more money and I don't know what to do about that -stay here or take USC classes

On a lighter note I got the Sallie Mae crap figured I just need granddaddy's address to finish as a reference.

I don't know - - I just hoped for a good semester to make up for Greenville, but now it seems like another waste and I am trying to get scholarships to help. So I got that but I just don't know what to do about this math class. I don't want you and dad to think I am wasting my time here and wasting your money. It is fun here but these classes are more important and I just need some help settling down.

I love you mommy and daddy too! I just don't want to disappoint you two.

My response follows:

Take a deeeeeeep breathe inhale - - - hold for the count of 4 - - - release. Repeat. Relax.

This can be fixed with determination on your part! YOU ARE NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT to daddy or me!!! So, STOP IT - don't spend any more time with negative thoughts.

This is what daddy says you need to do: Take your original printout of your schedule to the Registrar's Office - show them that you are in the class, but somehow clicked a button while checking course syllabus work / class location / or something & you somehow were removed from the class & are unable to put yourself back in [small lie - don't tell them you were looking for another professor - tell them you've purchased the text book also]. Continue to attend the class until this is fixed. After going to the Registrar's Office, you may also need to check with your Engineering advisor [they tell you this], they may need him to sign something to put you back in the class. This can be fixed with some leg work & time & effort on your part.

You can't be the first student to have made this error, nor will you be the last. Also, most University's have what they call a "Drop / Add" day & a space will open up again [especially since the instructor had you looking for another prof - so that means other students are thinking the same thing - they don't want the asshole for a prof either, and some will drop his class.]

Keep checking online to see if you can get a spot, but in the meantime -- do not pass Go, do not collect one-hundred-dollars, go immediately to the Registrar's Office and have them fix it!! Be polite, smile, use those baby-blues and charm your way into their hearts!!

AGAIN, continue to attend his class and make sure this grad student teaching the class knows who you are!!!! Sit right under his nose and talk to him before / after class! That goes for all the professors - get their office locations, emails, phone numbers - - plan to visit them all in the first couple of weeks, if only to shake hands and introduce yourself. The squeaky wheel gets the grease so make some noise and let them know that Son's Name Inserted Here has arrived.!!!!

All will be okay . . . . just "B-R-E-A-T-H-E" . . . By-hook-or-by-crook get more the additional credit hours so this does not effect your full-time student status!!

Here is granddaddy's address:
- - - deleted since no one needs it - - -

Mark, you are going to have a great semester!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a minor bump in the road and can be fixed, so please don't think negative thoughts - you don't want the Universe to hear them!! Your mantra for the day is "I will get into this math class, I will get into this math class, I will get into this math class, . . . ." . . . breathe in the positive thought & exhale the negative thoughts out!

I LOVE YOU - and will be anxiously awaiting the results of your efforts! Don't take "no" for an answer - let them know at the Registrar's Office that they can put you in the class because they know that someone will drop the same class!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO, Mom

* Big Sigh *

What A Mess!!!

My goodness, this is suppose to be my art room. It is currently housing Mark's bed and various items from his bedroom during the re-decorating process! I cannot even get in to get a picture of my desk and art supplies! Not to mention that I cannot even USE my art supplies!! It will be wonderful when Mark's room is finished because I will then have a small daybed in my artroom. I can lounge while looking through my many art books and feeding my muse!

Sneek Peak

This is what is happening in Mark's old bedroom -- the walls use to be a dark Navy Blue and they are now "Au Lait" with bright white trim. The curtain rod & valance are new from Target.

Finally, another email ! !

It is so difficult to get use to my son being 6,000 miles from home AND in a completely different time zone - - 5 hour time difference. So, now at 9:00 AM EST my time, he is fast asleep at 4:00 AM in Hawaii. [I hope he is sleeping and not out surfing at this hour!] However, I am a happy mommy, because this morning I had another email from him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aloha Mommy

I am having a great time and am making a lot of friends really fast. My mail address is
- - - - HONOLULU, HI 96822

I don't think I am going to need the comferter so don't send that just yet. What i do need is the hard drive in the green box, my shoes, and the xc bag from spring valley & maybe some snacks like Quaker Chewy Bars. I tried to call today, but, no answer, so I'll try tomorrow after ECON.

Work schedule today:
10:3 - 11:30; 12:00 - 1:00; 2:00 - 3:oo

Food and new friends now....

Got an email last night and he has met several guys on the floor and two girls - one according to his message is "smokin' hot". They went riding around the island in the back of one guys pickup truck [he says it's legal there], ate a pork-rice-hawaiian wrap, went to a party and then hung out in one of the fella's rooms. He said they were going to order some food and watch a movie.

He mentioned something about room changes going on and that his new roommate was not there yet. The details are quite sketchy so not sure at all what that means.

Here is his email:

so now everybody is getting back to the island and some of us had to move rooms but thats OK! i still hang with George and now his new roommate Kyle. My new roommate has not come yet so right now i chill in other rooms. We went to taco bell with George, kyle, and Katie and another girl Shuna - - Shuna is smokin hot. So we ate there and went around town in geo's truck - its not illgeal to ride in the bed here - so then we went back to the dorms and soon enough geo said that they were going to a party and he wanted me to come so we got in the back of his truck and headed out - the ride was about 25 mins - but it was cool becuase Shuna and I rode in the back together and talked - flirty-like - she is from the Bay Area but has some hawaiian in her brown/blond hair, green eyes, and a great smile. We stopped at a 7/11 gas station and the two of us went inside -- she got this pork wrap and said i had to try it. We made it home about 2:00 then went to bed. Now we are about to watch a movie in geo's room and get some food.

He starts classes today and hopefully I'll get another message.

I went outside already this morning - - raked the side yard leaves off of my pansies so that I can see them bloom. I couldn't see any of them as they were covered with dead leaves. Picked up massive amounts of pinecones and branches from the wind storm of last week.

I will be working today:
11:00 - 12:00 / 12:30 -1:00 / 2:00 - 3:00

Jay left in a huff... some problem with the printer not printing on the photo paper. That's what happens when you wait until the last minute! Later!

Is no news really good news?

I have not heard from him today. No phone call. No email. No text message. No update made on his facebook page.

His father painted his room today. From a deep navy blue to "au lait". Yesterday when I woke up and discovered jay in there making changes and getting ready to paint I almost screamed, "It's too soon - what do you think you are doing?" But, we each deal with change differently and so the room has been painted.

Crosby, Stills, Nash

It's been a long time comin'
It's goin' to be a long time gone.
Appears to be a long time,
Yes, a long, long, log time
Before the dawn.
Turn, turn any corner.
Hear, you must hear what the people say,
You know there's something that's goin' on here,
That surely, surely, surely won't stand the light of day.
And it appears to be a long,
Such a long, long, long time before the dawn.
Speak out, you got to speak out against
The madness, you got to speak your mind,
If you dare.
But don't try to get yourself elected.
If you do you had better cut your hair.
'Cause it appears to be a long time,
Before the dawn.
It's been a long time comin',
It's been a long time gone.
But you know, the darkest hour,
Is always just before the dawn.
And it appears to be a long time,
Such a long, long, long time before the dawn.

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Just a song before he goes,
to whom it may concern.
Travelling twice the speed of sound,
it's easy to get burned.
When the shows were over,
we had to get back home,
and when we opened up the door
I had to be alone.
I helped him with my suitcase,
he stands before my eyes,
driving him to the airport
and to the friendly skies.
Going through security
I held him for so long.
He finally looked at me in love,
and he was gone.

Going Through Security, I Held You for so Long

Awake at 3 am on Friday, December 9, 2009. Arrive at Columbia Metropolitan Airport at 4 am. Pre-flight pictures are taken, small talk with nervous laughter is made. Check-in time. I write the labels for his luggage to keep myself occupied and to give myself something to focus on beside him leaving and being 6,000 miles from home. Bags are weighed and paid for, checked in and then slide down the conveyor belt to what I hope is the correct plane.

Time to board. Time to say goodbye. I hug him and tell him I love him.
"I've never been so proud of your courage & determination to follow your own path," I cry.
"I love you, mommy," he says, "you need to let go now."
Does he understand how profoundly his words effect me?
He hugs his dad, his hero, the one with the shoes he is trying to fill.
He hugs his two friends, Joey and Matt. What fine men; they can express their feelings in a public airport and hug their friend goodbye.

"I'm sorry ma'm," the officer explains, "no one allowed beyond this point but the passengers."
"But, sir, I am his mother," I plead my case.
"Yes, ma'm, but even you can not come beyond this point."
"Ooh," I begin to cry and feel no shame in the tears coming down my face.

He passes through security and my eyes hold on to him as he slips off his backpack removing his laptop and places the items in a security bin. I hold him up with my eyes as he removes his flip-flops, worn specifically because he can easily slip in and out of them going through security.

I cry still as my eyes hug him as he walks through the electronic gate. I cry harder as he spreads his legs holding out his arms while the homeland security officer waves the wand down one side of his body and up the other side.

Still I cry. I continue to hold him with my eyes as he packs is laptop into his bookbag, slips on his rainbows. He turns, searching for my face, searching for my eyes, smiles at me lifting his right hand and giving a. He turns and walks away. Back straight, head up, purposeful steps. He doesn't use the moving stairs, he needs no help. He moves with his own determined, courageous, fearless steps away from me, toward his Furture, his Destiny, his Life.

I watch him until he is but a small speck; then he is gone. I cry some more and my husband holds me. I think he I hear this strong man sniff and choke back the lump in his throat.

preflight, zero hour, nine a.m.

Elton John's song is running through my head while my anxiety builds the faster time moves to taking my son to the airport and putting him on a plane bound for Hawaii. Happy, excited, nervous, expectant, nausea too!

She packed my bags last night, preflight Zero hour, nine a.m.

And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then.

I miss the earth so much I miss my wife

It's lonely out in space

On such a timeless flight

and I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man

Burnin' out his fuse up there alone

and I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man

Burnin' out his fuse up there alone

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids

In fact, it's cold as hell

And there's no one there to raise them, if you did

And all this science

I don't understand

It's just my job

Five days a week

A Rocket Man Rocket Man

and I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no no no... I'm a rocket man Rocket man

Burnin' out his fuse up there alone

and I think it's gonna be a long, long, time

'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find

I'm not the man they think I am at home

Oh, no no no...